Addiction is a terrible thing
It matters less what you’re addicted to more the fact that you’re hooked. There’s a ‘something’ that gives you your hit. It’s very personal to you. And you feel like you’d die before living without it.
I’m not sure it’s ever safe to assume you’re free. Once addicted, always addicted.
And the times when you step your way up the arrogance ladder and puff yourself up with “I’m fine” is precisely the time when you get served a potential hit on a silver platter.
And it’s always – always – seemingly a such a good hit. And you wonder,
…Could I get away with it? Just once?
Thank God I know ‘just once’ is all it takes to be right back in the swamp of addiction. Thank God I remember the anguish of being in my addiction; so driven as to lose all self respect.
Today, knowing those things has been enough to stop me.
Abstinence a day-by-day journey that starts and ends with me.
But oh! The temptation is so available, so delicious – I literally could walk 5 minutes down the road and get what I want. And in all honesty, I can never say ‘never again’. One day – maybe – I would love to say that. But right now, I need to daily renew my commitment to be abstinent. And hope, by the grace of God – just today – I can say “I will stand. I will not yield”.
Tomorrow, thankfully there is a new day’s supply of mercy and compassion waiting for me.